TESTIMONIALS

Jem is an absolutely fabulous mediator - I cannot recommend them enough. It was my first formal mediation and I was very anxious about the whole process. To be honest, I didn't think I wanted to go through with it but was asked by the other people involved and so wanted to find out more about it. I find speaking to people I don't know very difficult, especially over the phone, but from the first minute that I was talking with Jem, I felt safe, comfortable and able to talk to them. They reassured me throughout the whole process and I had such confidence in them that I decided to go through with it.

My main concerns about the mediation itself were that I felt like one of the people involved was often manipulating the conversation and slightly 'gaslighting' me and I was also concerned about aggressive and violent language from them. I was able to share these fears with Jem and they explained exactly how they would keep the space safe in those situations. And they were not wrong - the former of these two issues did happen during the mediation but they were able to gently but firmly encourage the person to hear the truth of what was being said and remind them of things they had said previously.

Jem was also brilliant at helping me reflect on my own part in the conflict in a respectful but effective way and seemed to know just the right question to ask at just the right time! I am so grateful to Jem for the support they offered me throughout the process

I found Jem to be a highly skilled mediator and recommend them without reservations to others looking for someone to help them work through complicated issues or resolve difficult conflicts.

They brought a great deal of sensitivity, compassion and insight into a highly charged and deeply knotted inter-personal conflict that allowed us to take the conversation to a new level, and reach a place that we were just not able to find without their support and guidance.

I am grateful for their work with us, and feel that with their mediation we have been able to speak truths to each other, and been helped to hear them. It has given us an opportunity to resolve this conflict that we didn’t have before.

Adam Payne

Jem Stopes has buckets of integrity!

Lucy Frances Dale

Jade Marsh

I cannot sing Jem's praises enough, and have been more than satisfied with my experience of their services.

I feel that Jem definitely helped me make sense of what was happening, examine and process what was going on (especially my own reactions), and to express myself and communicate in a way that was honest/genuine, respectful to all parties, and preserved my own dignity. I certainly do think that my conflict resolutions skills have improved through this, and that is in part due to Jem's work.

One factor which complicated my situation was my identity as a queer transgender person, and other parties involved also identify as LGBTQ+. So a certain amount of awareness and sensitivity around the particular culture and collective and individual traumas we have in this community was necessary. I felt that Jem exemplified this awareness and sensitivity, and I am very grateful for it.

Quill Barnes

Following a difficult conflict at work, which also spilled over into the personal as the work colleagues involved are also friends, I sought Jem's help after they were recommended by another friend. I had never done any kind of mediation before and was unsure what to expect.

Right from the very first phone call Jem put me at ease and made me feel that some kind of resolution was possible. Before this I had felt completely hopeless about the situation, and was stuck in a pretty horrible place with some very difficult feelings. Jem spent time with each person individually, there were 3 of us involved in the conflict. First by telephone and then a chat in person on a socially distanced walk.

Jem is really good at listening, and they helped me to organise my thoughts and make sense of my feelings about the situation, which before had felt like an unmanageable mess. Following on from the individual consultations I felt prepared and positive about going into a meeting. The meeting itself wasn't easy, it was painful to revisit the conflict as some time had passed between what happened and the mediation happening. However it felt very therapeutic as I was able to say the things I wished I'd been able to say at the time but couldn't.

Jem held the space brilliantly, I felt safe and supported throughout. The outcome of the mediation wasn't the overwhelmingly positive one that I might have wished for, BUT what it did do was allow me to draw a line under what had happened and feel like I could move on. Before this it had felt horribly unfinished and too painful to try to resolve. I am so glad I took part in this process and would really recommend getting in touch with Jem if you have any unresolved conflict that feels like too much to cope with.

Jo Wood

Recommended by a mutual friend to help navigate a complex and upsetting conflict that had developed with some of my closest friends. I was immediately struck by Jem's compassion to my situation as well as an ability to distil a complex story to the themes beyond its plot and engage with the fundamental issues at stake.